To Life!

A month and a day has passed since my last post and so much has happened. So many lessons learned, experience gained, and doors opening up. I was hospitalized again and for the first time in my history of hospitalizations, I feel like I really got the help that I needed. When I got out, there was nowhere to go - too many bridges burned and contact lost with those I love the most. I lived on the streets for 2 weeks, staying in churches, parks and shelters, everything I owned carried on my back, meeting people from every path of life, making mistakes and making right choices, taking each day as it came, and learning something new with each step I took. It was an experience that taught me to be grateful for all the blessings I've been given, and to take nothing for granted. It made all too real to me the harsh realities of life and opened my eyes to the way so many live their lives. Now I am back home, living with my parents, getting ready to start my new job, and living life with a new understanding of how things are, how I want them to be, and the effort it will entail to make my hopes and dreams a reality.

I've set up a daily routine for myself and am already feeling healthier and happier. To bed early each night and up early every morning, medication, 30 minutes of meditation, an hour of physical exercise, volunteer work taking care of the horses at my Mom's work, organizing paperwork, helping out around the house, an hour spent outside enjoying nature, lots of reading, trying out new vegetarian recipes, catching up with my Mom before bed, medication, meditation, then bed. Repeat. I don't start my new job at the health food store until Monday, so until then when my schedule will change a bit, I'm going to stick to this plan. It keeps me busy, happy, healthy, and out of trouble.

One of the changes I committed to making is not using drugs or being around others who do. The same goes for drinking. I've realized that it only hurts, never brings any lasting good and hinders my ability to stay present in the moment and enjoy all that the now offers. It is also in accordance with the 8 noble truths. Right effort. Right action. Right thought. Right mindfulness. Next on the list - quit smoking cigarrettes. Phew! Wish me luck on that one.

Overall, feeling that life is good. Counting my blessings now more than ever and focusing on infusing into my daily life and thinking the ways of the 8 fold path.

Blessings to all and I plan to be posting regularly in the future as well as catching up with the month I missed by posting some of my hand written journal entries during my time in the hospital and on the street. Watch for updates! Peace, Love, and Happiness to all. Blessings. Olivia

Lazeez

So...I've had this blog less than a week and have already gone and forgotten to post. Agh! In my defense, yesterday was an uber busy day. Early morning appointment, first day of the new job, and placement testing at HACC where I'll be starting classes next month. It feels SO good to be getting back into the swing of things. It's amazing how much more fulfilling life is when you stay active and have a schedule. I also will be starting my latest volunteer job this weekend at my local environmental center. Really excited about that opportunity as well.

My day job is doing clerical work.....mostly scanning stacks and stacks of paper files into the computer database. It's tedious, but I'm allowed to listen to my iPod while working, so in preparation for the big first day, I spent the night before downloading a bunch of podcasts to help pass the time. I'm already hooked on one called "More Hip Than Hippie" (www.morehipthanhippie.com). It's an awesome show about practical and affordable green living. Both entertaining and informative. One of the hosts also runs a business called Green Feet. Check out the online store! There's some great stuff there and most of it is decently priced. (www.greenfeet.com). Ok, enough advertising.

I'd like to end each of my posts with a brief Thought of The Day. Just an idea or impression that I've had over the course of the day that might be fun or helpful to share. Today's has to do with connectedness. Singularity. Something I was told in a mindfulness session that has never left me. Nothing truly ever goes out of existence. Think of clouds, for example. They never actually cease to exist, they merely change forms. Rain or snow which feed into the earth sustaining plants and nature and so live eternally through them. These plants, in turn, sustain wildlife, and so on. It's all a big circle. I believe the same is true of human life - that it can never be truly extinguished. It's so easy to see things in terms of life and death, but take both out of the equation and see how your view of the world changes. Life is energy. And energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It merely is. It is eternal. Therefore, some aspect of our being will always live on, even after our physical bodies have perished. It's just a thought. I may be wrong. But either way, I find it comforting. It's beautiful, really.