To Life!

A month and a day has passed since my last post and so much has happened. So many lessons learned, experience gained, and doors opening up. I was hospitalized again and for the first time in my history of hospitalizations, I feel like I really got the help that I needed. When I got out, there was nowhere to go - too many bridges burned and contact lost with those I love the most. I lived on the streets for 2 weeks, staying in churches, parks and shelters, everything I owned carried on my back, meeting people from every path of life, making mistakes and making right choices, taking each day as it came, and learning something new with each step I took. It was an experience that taught me to be grateful for all the blessings I've been given, and to take nothing for granted. It made all too real to me the harsh realities of life and opened my eyes to the way so many live their lives. Now I am back home, living with my parents, getting ready to start my new job, and living life with a new understanding of how things are, how I want them to be, and the effort it will entail to make my hopes and dreams a reality.

I've set up a daily routine for myself and am already feeling healthier and happier. To bed early each night and up early every morning, medication, 30 minutes of meditation, an hour of physical exercise, volunteer work taking care of the horses at my Mom's work, organizing paperwork, helping out around the house, an hour spent outside enjoying nature, lots of reading, trying out new vegetarian recipes, catching up with my Mom before bed, medication, meditation, then bed. Repeat. I don't start my new job at the health food store until Monday, so until then when my schedule will change a bit, I'm going to stick to this plan. It keeps me busy, happy, healthy, and out of trouble.

One of the changes I committed to making is not using drugs or being around others who do. The same goes for drinking. I've realized that it only hurts, never brings any lasting good and hinders my ability to stay present in the moment and enjoy all that the now offers. It is also in accordance with the 8 noble truths. Right effort. Right action. Right thought. Right mindfulness. Next on the list - quit smoking cigarrettes. Phew! Wish me luck on that one.

Overall, feeling that life is good. Counting my blessings now more than ever and focusing on infusing into my daily life and thinking the ways of the 8 fold path.

Blessings to all and I plan to be posting regularly in the future as well as catching up with the month I missed by posting some of my hand written journal entries during my time in the hospital and on the street. Watch for updates! Peace, Love, and Happiness to all. Blessings. Olivia

A Mindfulness Meditation; Week 2

Last week I tried to focus on having reverence for nature and all sentient beings. Some days went better than others, but because of an awareness of my successes and failures, I feel it was a worthwhile learning experience. I spoke hurtful words to someone in anger. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. I left trash in the field because it was dark and we were too lazy to get a flashlight and find everything. We must be the change we wish to see in the world. I found a giant bug in the garage and instead of squashing it, moved it outside. Every living thing has inherent buddha nature. I sent my sister a letter and a little care package to encourage her through this mess she has to deal with. Everyone suffers. We can do our part to decrease the pain of others. I watered, fed, and nurtured my little seedlings. They're growing quite nicely and remind me of the beauty and power of mother earth.

This week, observe the material things in your daily life. How do you handle objects that cross your path - yours and others? Do you recycle? Do you waste water in the shower? Are you energy efficient? Are you tempted by what's not yours? Try to practice random acts of spontaneous kindness. Act upon your friendly, benevolent impulses. At the end of the week, measure your wealth in non material terms. How many sunsets or dawns did you watch? How many times did you appreciate nature? Did you smile enough?

The plan to increase my daily meditation time didn't exactly happen. We'll give it another go this week. Small steps, small steps.

Pictures as promised! Here is the latest addition to the altar.

I love the green that's laced throughout.

Beautiful detail.

A Mindfulness Meditation; Week 1

Today I went for a walk in the woods. The clouds were beautiful. The sky was blue. I just stood, looking up. Lost track of time...I haven't felt that tuned in to things in a long time and it inspired me.

I've decided to take the next five weeks to practice mindfulness in various aspects of my daily life so as to be more conscious of each day, each moment, each action as it comes and goes. Anyone care to join me?

Week 1 Notice the influence of the first precept in your life. Vow to bring no harm to any living creature through word, deed or thought. Yourself included. Notice all the living beings in your world you might normally ignore. Weeds poking up through pavement. Bugs. Birds. Cultivate a sense of care and reverence for them. Houseplants are buddhas, too. Stones, too.

I will also be setting aside more time each day for meditation. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, but we make time for what is important to us. I read somewhere - "You don't have time? That's not a valid excuse. Time is really all we have. If we decide it's necessary, there's time for it." As a somewhat unrelated and only slightly interesting side note, I recently bought a new buddha statue/figurine for my altar. One of these days I'll have to post a picture. It's really very nice.